The Chicago Bears Draft Picks - all have their grades and analyses, but what about their potential for comedy gold? Let's take a look at these draft picks through the lens of a funny person.
Bears draft picks: Grades for Chicago in the 2020 NFL Draft
"Can Cole Kmet catch more than just footballs? And other burning questions."
The Bears picked up tight end Cole Kmet with their first pick, and while he seems like a solid player, let's be real - the real question is whether he can catch more than just footballs. Can he catch colds? Feelings? The attention of a special someone? These are the burning questions.
Chicago Bears draft picks 2018: Grades, analysis, list - Sports Illustrated
"Roquan Smith was born to play football, but can he dance?"
Linebacker Roquan Smith was a great pick in 2018, but can he move as well as he tackles? Can he salsa like a professional? Perhaps the Bears need to add a dance off to their training camp. It could be just what the team needs to fire them up.
2020 NFL draft picks: Full list of Chicago Bears selections led by Cole
"Darnell Mooney sounds like a character on a 90s sitcom, and we're all for it."
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The Bears picked up wide receiver Darnell Mooney in the fifth round, and his name alone makes us excited about the potential for comedy. It sounds like a character on a 90s sitcom, and we're all for it. Maybe he can bring some of that classic humor to the team.
Chicago Bears: End of season 2021 seven-round mock draft
"If Kindle Vildor doesn't have his own line of candles in five years, we riot."
Cornerback Kindle Vildor was a six-round pick in 2020, but we already see big things for him - namely, his own line of candles. With a name like Kindle, it's practically a requirement. If he doesn't have his own line in five years, we riot.
Chicago Bears sign all seven 2020 draft picks, including TE Cole Kmet
"How many puns will be made about Trevis Gipson's last name? The limit does not exist."
Finally, let's talk about defensive end Trevis Gipson. His last name is practically begging for puns - "Gipson's grip is strong," "Gipson's got the ball in his gip" - the limit does not exist. We're excited to see the creativity that comes out of this pick.
Tips for making jokes about the Bears' draft picks
- Don't be afraid to lean into the cheese factor. It's football, after all.
- Focus on the potential for comedy, even if it's a stretch.
- Use puns and wordplay whenever possible.
- Remember, the goal is to make people laugh, not necessarily to make coherent or insightful commentary.
Ideas for incorporating Bears draft pick humor into your life
- Bring up the potential for tragedy in Cole Kmet's non-football catching abilities every time his name is mentioned.
- Relive the glory days of 90s sitcoms with Darnell Mooney jokes.
- Make Trevis Gipson puns whenever possible. Seriously, the limit does not exist.
- Challenge your friends to a Roquan Smith dance off. Winner gets to be GM for a day.
How to be a funny person when talking about the Bears' draft picks
- Don't take yourself too seriously.
- Be willing to make fun of yourself as well as others.
- Practice wordplay and puns so they come naturally. They're a funny person's bread and butter.
- Find the humor in situations, even if they don't seem inherently funny.
- Remember that humor is subjective, so don't be discouraged if not everyone finds you funny. Keep trying!
So there you have it - a comprehensive look at the Bears' draft picks through a funny person's lens. Whether you're making jokes about Cole Kmet's catching abilities or Trevis Gipson's pun potential, we hope this guide has given you the tools you need to make your Bears commentary as hilarious as possible.
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